Being a new mom is exciting and terrifying. There are so many new things to look forward to. But there are also many things that can be scary. I don’t know any parents that feel that they have everything under control. Even parents with lots of kids can feel like they still don’t know what they are doing.
So if you’re having your first child, you’ll probably spend a lot of time worrying. One thing that is common in new mothers is social anxiety.
What is social anxiety?
Social anxiety is the kind of feeling that people around you are judging you. For most people, this is a normal feeling. But social anxiety also makes you tense and afraid, much more than usual. Instead of wondering if what you are wearing looks nice, you might wonder if people think you’re too dumb to find a nice outfit. Or if you show up late, you might think that people think you are irresponsible.
Social anxiety can make you not want to leave the house. It can also make you want to avoid other people.
Why are new moms likely to have social anxiety?
While you are pregnant, everyone tells you what they think. Everyone wants to give you their opinion, or tell you about their pregnancies and children. And many opinions about having children are completely different. How do you know who is right? And what if your opinion is different?
Most women want to be the perfect mother. But each person may have a different opinion of the perfect mother.
Some women want their children to be doctors and lawyers. Other women want their children to do what makes them happy. Some moms are strict, some let their kids do what they want.
Many new mothers begin to worry that they look like bad mothers. That people are judging them. It can be very uncomfortable to be in a room and think that people think you are being a bad mom. But being a mom is different for everyone.
What can I do to overcome social anxiety?
You don’t want to be to scared too go out and see people. While it is very difficult at times to overcome fear that people are judging you, there are many ways to do it.
The first thing is knowing that everyone is afraid that people are judging them. While you worry that you look tired because you only got two hours sleep, other people worry they aren’t wearing the right thing. Or they may worry that they have a pimple. Or that they are going bald. Even super models worry that they aren’t thin enough. Everyone worries about what other people think. So you’re in good company.
If you are afraid of going out to meet people, bring a Wingman. It can be a friend, or your partner, or whoever. If you feel someone has your back, you feel more comfortable. Having someone beside you to talk to will help distract you from being afraid of what people think about you.
And remember, you’re a new mom. Nothing starts a conversation like showing them your new baby. People want to hear stories about your little boy or girl. And people with kids also like to talk about their kids. Knowing that you have something to say will help keep you from feeling out-of-place.
Just keep in mind that social anxiety is normal in new moms, and a lot of ways to get past it.